DarkJoy

Dear World,

It’s been a while, I know.  It’s been difficult to surface from the nether to get a message out, but I’m here now, ready to say all that needs to be said.

It’s been three and a half months since I took my leave of you.  I chose to abandon all that I knew, all that had not been working for me.  Instead of fighting the current, I allowed myself to be swept away out into the deep.

I’m still out there, out here, finding my way to a new World.  I must admit, I thought I’d have made my way to this new destination by now.  Instead I’m still wading through emptiness, not really hoping to find my mark, nor am I quite willing to let myself sink.  The experience so far has been eye opening.  Eye opening in the most unexcited possible sense.  I’ve had so many ups and downs that now, I feel as though I really understand the meaning of accepting the things I cannot change. And, of course, having the courage to change the things I can.

Ironically, letting go seems to have given me more control over the situations I find myself in.  Though I am no longer trying to exert my will over you, it is becoming less and less difficult to fulfill my desires.  I’m not sure if my resurreccion has been achieved, or if I will ever make it there, but it is clear to me that this is the way I am meant to live.

I once paid to read my birth chart on astrology.com.  Sagittarius is a mutable-fire sign.  On top of that, most of the planets in my chart find themselves in mutable signs.  Mutables tend to be easy going and usually just “go with the flow”.  For a while I resisted this, I wanted to be the master of my destiny.  But when I think back to my child hood and adolescence, I remember being happiest (relatively speaking) when I chose not to go against the grain.  The same seems to be coming true now.

Shikata ga nai kamo shirenai…I guess it can’t be helped.

Yours,

An Active Nihilist.

Posted in: resurreccion by PrimeraEspada /